Levi has a birthday party
by annieactual
Summary: Erwin decides to throw levi a birthday party.
1. Chapter 1

levi was sUP ER, pissed off today like no t normel pissed of tere was the pee all over erwindmill noticed thet the levi was pissed so he said "h ey rivaibblyboop( das erwins pet name for levi) u wanna have super heardcoore gay sex. leevi lets out a giant giraffe noise. "what the fuck says erwisconsin". levitality make s some more giraffe noises. "im gonna fuck thAt bowl of marcoroni over there" says levi. even tjough the macoronibble doesnt exist hes gonna fuck it. NO! hanjuggalo runs in. " DO NOT FUCK THE macorono.

l eviosa why r u so pissed says hanji. "it is my birthday" levi was now super pissed off because he still cant fuck the macorni" anyways levi is turning 420 years old so they decide to take him out to eat for his birthday.  
hanji and erwichita, kansas start to make a list of who to invite to chuck e cheeses. so far they have mike, erenipple, mikoosa, bertholemew, flynn reiner, mitt romney. "woah hold on a diddly darn secoOND says hanej. WHO IS MITT ROMNESTLE! "he s obviously the prime minister of new zealand. anyway hanje and erwish so they decide totake a nap.  
erwinner goes to his room to change his clothes. he unzips his pants when the sunny D theme song starts playing. Erwin decided tjat this is not optimal time for changing his clothes and falls asleep.

PARTY TYME!  
everyone including levi is at chuckee cheeses. They r all having a good time except reiner pissed himself again and everyones kinda pissed at him cause its not really appropriate to do that in public but whatever u feel. anyways erwind brings in the cake and a bowl of macoroni for levi. "HOLD UP( grab the wall)" ANnie leonhardt skates in wearing a banana costume while carrying a boombox playing the canadian national anthem. "you forgot ur party hats" she hands them all party hats but theey are actually just small pieces of wood carved into penises.

eren knocks over the bowl the macaroni and levi is pissed for real.  
Levineyard starts rapping very loudly, " SloAW DOWN GRAB THE WALL WIGGLE LIKE U TRYNA MAKE UR ASS FAL OFF" . beettholdt is very angered by this because his grandma died for wiggling so ahrd her ass fell of. HE ACCidentally turns into te colossal titen and destroys the chuck e cheeses butthats okay cause no one fucking likes chuck e cheeses i mean their pizza is fucking disgusting trust me i knew someone who worked there.  
AN Y ways erwinchilada carries off levi into the sunset so they can kill titens and probably have gay sex .


	2. the aftermath

CHAPTER 2: THE AFTERMATH

ANYways after levi ran off with erwendsday mikasa was like HEY WILLIAM ( thats what kikasa calls eren). we shiuld open those presents. NOooooooOOOOOOOOOO! we cannot do that says mike. why not said jean. mike starts to grow into a tree.

"mike what are you doing", hanji is screaming. I have terminal cancer says mike. ERENipple starts to run around frantically as he cannot cope with the face that mike has terminal cancer. goodbye mike. Its over mike.  
Romney finally shows up to the party late because his crashed and blew up so he went to go buy a new one. in fact romney bought 7 cars and drove all of them at the same time. the romniggle stepped into the room currently dressed as the green ball guy from monsters inc. mike the tree blooms. hanjiggle cries. cries a red river of affection that begins to drown mokusa.

suddentlu she is saved by one of those presents that float. hOLY SHI T. there is a raft inside of the le present. mikasa is saved. congratulations.

afTER LIKE 100 hours. theydecide to open te presents without levi. romney decides to go first. he opens a present and its a half eaten box of triscuits. romney dies of dissapointment. there is a consensus among everyone that jean cannot open a present because his dick game is too game 2 strong... 2 dick? DICK Game 2 stRONng. JEANE is screaming 4 he wants a present.  
Armandarin opens his present next. it is two tickets to a showing of the book of mormon. the showing was 12 years ago. suddenly erwinchilada comes back.. I am here o free u from ur sins. Erwisconsin is now jesus i guess. ANWAYS they all go to heaven. p

So hanjeggle is in heaven right. and theres a bowl of macrorni. ,,,,,,,. and shes like im gonna send this down to levi so he can put his dik in it. levis gonna fuck a heAvenly bowl of macoroni.

levi is sitting at mcdonalds cause hes hingry and hes eating a giant pile of chicken nugget that mike cooked up even though he is a treeif you aint talkin money i dint1  
wanna talk. levis please stop rapping. he sees this bowl ofq macoronig and just is all like o Hi wanna put my diggly doo in that thing sp he gets up and just fricki b takes it from the fuc kin ground. levi thejn fycKS THE MacIrono and descends to heaven. goodbye levi.


	3. MACRONI

BY now maybe like half of snk characters in heaven they are kickin it with jesus at the heaven branch at arbys. !n downwards levicky is still fucking that bowl of macoronie. Whaht a nerd no wonder u have no parents you fucking loser. WHhiel levi9 fox news. erwop(wop wop) walks in and is like " ayo mark(sometimes levis name is makr) WHY112 are you still fucking thatb owl of macornone.

/levi lets out a huge gasp aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?/! he did not know he was still fucking a bowl of macorni. His dick is ocvered in tiny spongebob macorini pieces. THe squidward macorni looks like it is sucking levis dick. GOODbye sqiodward. ERwacka wacka flocka slimm shady picks up levi from the ground and is liek. MAN are you alright ypu just fucked a bowl of macorni for like 5 hours straight. LEVI is kind of angry because he is obviously just getting his daily excercise. ANd erwales is like waht a great way to exvervise. Suddenly macklemore comes in and starts rapping. what whawt waht what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what wjat what what. However levi kivks out macklemore because he wanted mackless and macklemore did not save the gays. Sudeen;y levis cellphone rings he doesnt have a cellphone but it is riniign hanji is calling levi from heaven

_riiiinnnggg rIINNNNGggg rIIINGG_ ! LEvi picks up the phone.

"HELLLOOOPPPP boonjourrrrp" levi says. hanji starts talking to levi about heaven stuff and levi is just like ok cool but i dont actually care like thats real fuckin neato but i just fucked a bowl of macorono at mcdonalds for five hours straight and i dont think im goinh to heaven goodbue. hanjiggle is v dissapointed bc it bad idea to fuck a bowl f macoroni for five houts straight but we goodubye levi

erwonton goes back to the scouting legion place like that castle you know cause he has to kill titans and leviioop follows him and they are like lets o kill titan but first lets check on annie because she is cool. get ot shes like frozen in ice or some shit i dont really care/ so they go see anile leondhard and they are very surpries because she is wearing a snapback in her crystal and erwwiggle is like holy shit annie how did you get that snap back and annie is all like oh its nothing really i got it walmart and erwestern saahara is like oh man we should all go together to buys snaopbakcs at walmart. anyways they break annie out of the crystal to go to walmart to buy more snapbacks and maybe a bulls jeresy to be continued


	4. Chapter 4

chap 4 snk goes to walmart.

so annie erword and levi are gonna go to walmart but theyre like oh shit we have no means of transportation to go to walmart. anways theyre about to grand theft auto this car when annie s like heyvguys we should Jusr nyoom to walmart on our 3dmgs. and erwalmart is like yeah holy shit let s do that .

after like 2 hours and another fucked bowl of macorni they finally arrive at walmart. so they walk in and the store clerk is a titan aand levi is like holy shit how can you even be working and the titan politely explains how walmart doesnt discriminate agaisnt race color or gender or and genetic predisposition as that is prohibited by americAn law. and annie erjoe biden and levi are like ok man that makes sense sorry to disrupt you and the titans like nah man its fine no worries. they have trouvle finding the snapbacks so they r looking around and they get to te l foood aisle where there are like 99999900 boxes of macoroni and levi faints because hes gonna fuck every single one. levi dies cause hes fucked so much macoroniu his dick gets yeast infection

erwinnipeg and annie finally reach the hat section. ERWRIGLEY trie es on a snap back when reiner walks up and is like oh i like ur cowboy hat erwannabe and erwinna gets angry because its a fedora but its actually a snapback? idk man these people are crazy. ANNIE ERwrapper and reiner finally all find a snapback they like and they are happy but they still gotta get levi from the macaroni aisle and find annie a bulls jeresy.

Long story short this walmart is huge its a superwalmart and they have to go through like 12000 aisles just to find a goddamn bulls jeresy.

so at one olpoing the y reach THE toue aisle and reiner is PLAYINg with,,,, the littlest pet shop stuff but he cannot play w/ the liltezt pet shop we need to find annie a bulls jersy so she is swag. anniE IS ANGRERES by this so she starts to turn into a tree jus t like mike and erwario is fReaKING OUT because levi is still in the macaroni aisle.

REINER is fencknekdkejc .,,.97678 he turns into titan and destroys walmart goodbye walmart. WAlmart files lawsuit against erwreck and anne reiner bwcause they did illegal and shit . lEVI IS talking to his bowl of macoroni im french.

"hola, como estas"  
*incoherent macoroni noises"  
"estoy bien"  
*more macorni nosises*

erwinter e is trying to figure out how to fight lawsuit against walmart. he opens a book about9473 law when shaquille o neal pips out and is like man ill be ur lawyer and erwin is like idk who u are but thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

chap 5 snk goes to court  
AFTER THE WHOLE WAL,,,mArr t ordeal erwinchacha is all lawyer man like he has a suit and kinda looks like a ultra white version of someone from ace attorney. liKe re4lly white like his skin is white erwinetflix are you ok.  
sO its the daybefor e hes gonna go to court and hes consulting his law books because hes too poor to afford a lawyer haha what a loser. SO THEN SHAQUILLE ON NEAL LIKe pops out of law book like ayo man ill be ya lawyer if ya give me some cheezits.

erwiggalo is like how many cheezeits?$& ! and shaq is like enough cheezits to make my dick hard. so erwalking dead is likE HOly shit yeah done deal man. except erwin also asks shaq if he could get walmRt to get annie a bulls jerresy because thats what they came theree for in the first place.

AnywAys shaq erwindy city reiner annie and maybe levi idk where he is are reviewing the court case And annie is ,,, lik e tgis doesnt seem like a well formulated court case i don t think saying swag a hundred times is going to work.  
bUt reiner and erwholla at u and shaq r loike no manthIS IS GOIN G TO WORK. anie walk s out and PEES on reiner cau se he piss ed himself again and aheS LIKE YE AH REINER HO W DO YOU LIK E TH AT su fucking piece of shi t stop pissimg in public all the time. reiner continubes to piss hinswlf reiner wha t the fuck.

2 hours later

so sha q has been spiiniing a basketvall on his finger for 30 minits now and anni e is like we should go to sleep we have to fight walmart in cou rt tomorrow and theyre all like yeah probably.

cou rt time:

in tge car on their way to court anni e beats up reiner because he piseed himself again reinwr you need to see a doctor. e rwanna is wearing his snapback eVEN THOUGH THAT IS IMPROPER COURT ATIRE. bu t he still h as mad sweg. an d shaq is ju st lik e hellla yeahp weeeeee aEr go bna winnagainst walmart in court.

so ghey get to the cou rt room and it turns out that snoop dogg is the judge and the jury is 1 motorcycle from the 1950's ,a postcard from mongolia, shinji ikari, the #9 dude from 12 angry men, an old irish man with alzheimers, annie leonhardt, ans a box of wheat thins. SHaq is like wait annie why are you there and annie says that she has jury duty and its required by law and reiners like but du de ur under 18 And shes just like A PISSBABY like you doesbt get to have an opinion

so anyways snoop dogg is like erwocka and shaq and reiner and kinda annie what do u have in ur defense for destroying walmart? and erwin is like " mad swag "

and snoop dogg looks him straight in the eye and says " how much ma d swag"

th e entire two snk openings play while erwalk comES UP WITH an answer.

"enOUFH MAD SWAG FOR ME TO STEAL YOUR GIRL" the entire court room gasps, even the box of wheat thins.  
snoop dogg nods, he knows who has won the case.

"erWIntern, reiner, and annje are determined not guilty"

bubt then er(you can tell by the way i use my)walk is like oh and can annie get a bulls jeresy. an d snoop dogfs like only if ya guys smoke som e kush rolled up in hunna dolla bills with me causne yall gOT MAD SWAG -and erwinnipef is like yeah sure lets leave these losers and go get high.

anways they all go over to snoop doggs place and annie has a bulls jeresy and they live happily ever after the end.

except they left levi at walmart.


End file.
